My Final Oscar Winner Predictions

I have sorted the Oscar nominations in order of their likelihood of winning tonight. Last year, my predictions were 100% accurate,  but this year is harder to predict. You'll notice that I didn't predict Foreign Film, Documentary, or any of the Short Subject categories. I don't know or care about the nominations in those categories. I have seen at least one nomination in every category listed below. Now I feel ready for a fun night of honoring great cinema.

Best Picture

1^st Boyhood

2^nd Birdman

3^rd The Grand Budapest Hotel

4^th American Sniper

5^th The Imitation Game

6^th Whiplash

7^th Selma

8^th The Theory of Everything

Best Director

1^st Birdman

2^nd Boyhood

3^rd The Grand Budapest Hotel

4^th The Imitation Game

5^th Foxcatcher

Best Actor

1^st The Theory of Everything (Eddie Redmayne)

2^nd Birdman (Michael Keaton)

3^rd American Sniper (Bradley Cooper)

4^th The Imitation Game (Benedict Cumberbatch)

5^th Foxcatcher (Steve Carrell)

Best Actress

1^st Still Alice (Julianne Moore)

2^nd Gone Girl (Rosamond Pike)

3^rd Wild (Reese Witherspoon)

4^th The Theory of Everything (Felicity Jones)

5^th Two Days, One Night Marion Cotillard)

Best Supporting Actor

1^st Whiplash (J.K. Simmonds)

2^nd Birdman (Edward Norton)

3^rd Boyhood (Ethan Hawke)

4^th Foxcatcher (Mark Ruffalo)

5^th The Judge (Robert Duvall)

Best Supporting Actress

1^st Boyhood (Patricia Arquette)

2^nd Birdman (Emma Stone)

3^rd The Imitation Game (Keira Knightly)

4^th Into the Woods (Meryl Streep)

5^th Wild (Laura Dern)

Best Animated Feature

1^st How to Train Your Dragon 2

2^nd Big Hero 6

3^rd The Tale of the Princess Kagunya

4^th The Boxtrolls

5^th Song of the Sea

Best Original Screenplay

1^st The Grand Budapest Hotel

2^nd Birdman

3^rd Boyhood

4^th Nightcrawler

5^th Foxcatcher

Best Adapted Screenplay

1^st The Imitation Game

2^nd Whiplash

3^rd The Theory of Everything

4^th American Sniper

5^th Inherent Vice

Best Original Song

1^st Selma (“Glory”)

2^nd The Lego Movie (“Everything is Awesome”)

3^rd Glen Campbell: I’ll Be Me (“Not Gonna Miss Me”)

4^th Begin Again (“Lost Stars”)

5^th Beyond the Lights (“Grateful”)

Best Original Score

1^st The Theory of Everything

2^nd The Grand Budapest Hotel

3^rd Interstellar

4^th The Imitation Game

5^th Mr. Turner

Best Production Design

1^st The Grand Budapest Hotel

2^nd Into the Woods

3^rd Interstellar

4^th The Imitation Game

5^th Mr. Turner

Best Film Editing

1^st Boyhood

2^nd Whiplash

3^rd The Grand Budapest Hotel

4^th American Sniper

5^th The Imitation Games

Best Cinematography

1^st Birdman

2^nd The Grand Budapest Hotel

3^rd Unbroken

4^th Ida

5^th Mr. Turner

Best Costume Design

1^st The Grand Budapest Hotel

2^nd Into the Woods

3^rd Maleficent

4^th Mr. Turner

5^th Inherent Vice

Best Makeup and Hairstyling

1^st The Grand Budapest Hotel

2^nd Guardians of the Galaxy

3^rd Foxcatcher

Best Sound Mixing

1^st Whiplash

2^nd American Sniper

3^rd Birdman

4^th Interstellar

5^th Unbroken

Best Sound Editing

1^st American Sniper

2^nd Interstellar

3^rd Birdman

4^th Unbroken

5^th The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies

Best Visual Effects

1^st Interstellar

2^nd Dawn of the Planet of the Apes

3^rd Guardians of the Galaxy

4^th X-Men: Days of Future Past

5^th Captain America: The Winter Soldier

Categorizing Men (Including Myself)

     This Venn Diagram might make you laugh, yet it’s surprisingly accurate. Most women want a boyfriend who has everything they they're looking for. Unfortunately, all men lack some quality that women want whether it’s intelligence, good looks, kindness, or heterosexuality. Women should spend more time looking at the qualities men do have, and then decide which ones are most important. For example, if you value kindness more than good looks, you should choose a nerd rather than a jerk. No matter what your preferences are, just make sure you choose someone with at least one of the three main qualities. Men who aren't handsome, smart, or nice don't have a place in the diagram. They're basically just genetic garbage.

     When I first saw this picture, I tried to think of which section described me the best. I decided that I’m in the “Nice” circle extremely close to where it intersects with the other circles, but without entering the other sections. I do my best to be nice, but I’m not quite handsome, not quite a genius, not quite an idiot, not quite a nerd, and not quite gay. I hope that my spot on the diagram is a section that some decent girls will find appealing. If you think I belong in a different section, let me know where. I won't take (much) offense. I know that this picture is a limited way of categorizing the types of men, but it's a good way of reminding women that there's no such thing as a perfect man and how they shouldn't expect to find one.

The Action Movie and How it Spoiled American Moviegoers

     I personally think the 2011 film Hugo is interesting, emotionally moving, and extremely well-made, but several of my friends think it's boring. That’s because Hugo is one of the few movies of recent years that isn’t driven by action. People don’t care how much depth or insight a film has. If there’s no action, they lose interest in five minutes. One time when I was working at a movie theater, I had a co-worker who loved The Dark Knight more than any other movie. We had some other good movies playing there too, but he thought most of them were stupid because they weren’t as action-packed. Why can't people realize that it takes more than explosions and chases to tell a good story?

     There was a time when movies didn’t need constant action to be enjoyed by the public. They had attention-grabbing themes, witty dialogue, and touching moments that drew the audience into the world of the story. If an action sequence came up once in a while, that was just a bonus. For example, you never knew when a big event might occur in a Hitchcock film. The excitement of waiting for something to happen was what made it so suspenseful. In modern blockbusters, you always know that a big action sequence is just a few minutes away, so there’s rarely a sense of tension beforehand. Fighting and destruction sequences are so common that it’s hard to distinguish one action film from another.

     When Star Wars and Raiders of the Lost Ark first came out, they were novelties. They were exciting because people weren’t used to seeing that much action. Unfortunately, those movies set the bar too high for other filmmakers. The Mission: Impossible movies resort to action so over-the-top that the characters would die a dozen times in real life. The Matrix emphasizes action to the point where the plot itself is hard to follow, and the thought-provoking subject matter isn't as powerful as it could be. Man of Steel is so action-packed that it doesn’t have enough time for character development. Now that most movies in the theater are big action movies, the genre isn’t unique any more.
     I beg all of you to be more open-minded and expand your tastes in movies. America's attention span is short enough as it is thanks to TV. Don’t make it worse by watching nothing but action blockbusters. I’m not saying you should stop watching action movies altogether. (I'm always interested in Marvel's next big-budget spectacle about yet another superhero no one’s ever heard of.) Just make sure you also take the time to see some inspiring biopics or heart-warming family films. If the average moviegoer learned to embrace a more diverse variety of films, we could resurrect some of the good old forgotten genres of cinema like the screwball comedy, the courtroom drama, and the  musical.